sad cold truth

she looks into the mirror,
and there staring back at her,
at the tears,
the pain,
rejection,
not wanted.
she knows it all to well.
he asked her here,
even payed her way.
he dont want her.
he wants a piece of ass.
sad cold truth

this is for you

you think you can hurt me withg the powerful words you leave. keep trying i am done with you and your attention drawing drama ways. i am happy now so leave me the fuck alone and get off my profiles

just my writings. and youtube video links to videos i have created its how i feel: beautiful you

just my writings. and youtube video links to videos i have created its how i feel: beautiful you: look deep inside yourself, you know its true, dont let him run you, this life is your own. look inside your soul, and let your inner b...

beautiful you

look deep inside yourself,
you know its true,
dont let him run you,
this life is your own.

look inside your soul,
and let your inner beauty out.
you are a beautiful woman,
and you are very strong.

the way he looks at you,
the way he talks to you,
the way he makes you feel,
look inside yourself,
and find your true self.

look inside,
adn find the you we know.
the you we all love.
you are beautiful,
and you are strong.

just my writings. and youtube video links to videos i have created its how i feel: i promise...

just my writings. and youtube video links to videos i have created its how i feel: i promise...: you ask me questions, that i can not answer, i cant say forever, but i can say as long as i breath. from this day now, till the day i d...

i promise...

you ask me questions,
that i can not answer,
i cant say forever,
but i can say as long as i breath.
from this day now,
till the day i die,
my heart belongs to you,
for none pother to love,
or hold.

these times are scary,
i kno.
but i will not fail you.
i promised you my life,
and my life,
is what i give.
i promise that i will not let you down.

just my writings. and youtube video links to videos i have created its how i feel: secret love

just my writings. and youtube video links to videos i have created its how i feel: secret love: deep within her secret heart, she holds a gift, more powerful than any other, the gift is known as true love, one of understanding, and...

secret love

deep within her secret heart,
she holds a gift,
more powerful than any other,
the gift is known as true love,
one of understanding,
and nurturing,
she longs to be in her loves arms,
but she knows the love will never live.
somewere within her secret heart,
the imagination flows,
and she dreams only of him.
somewere in her secret heart.

just my writings. and youtube video links to videos i have created its how i feel: im sorry

just my writings. and youtube video links to videos i have created its how i feel: im sorry: i know that i am not perfect, and baby im sorry, i know that i am not exactly what you want, and again i am sorry. i try so hard to mak...

im sorry

i know that i am not perfect,
and baby im sorry,
i know that i am not exactly what you want,
and again i am sorry.

i try so hard to make you happy,
to let you see into my eyes,
for one moment,
of one day.

i only meant to spend time with you,
i never ment to fight,
im really sorry you got mad.
and i am begging you to forgive me.
i love you
and i am sorry

just my writings. and youtube video links to videos i have created its how i feel: missing my love

just my writings. and youtube video links to videos i have created its how i feel: missing my love: as she looks up from her book, she looks around and notes the silence of the room, her love still has not returned. though he said he wou...

missing my love

as she looks up from her book,
she looks around and notes the silence of the room,
her love still has not returned.
though he said he would only be gonr for a couple of hours.

slowly dawn aproaches and she looks up once more,
unable to hide the worry in her eyes,
as she lets out a silent prayer to the great goddess,
mother please return him safe.

she settles back into her book,
and awaits the safe return of her king,
for only he can stiffle her worries.
upon his safe return,
surely she will sleep.

just my writings. and youtube video links to videos i have created its how i feel: no matter what

just my writings. and youtube video links to videos i have created its how i feel: no matter what: no matter what happens, i will always love you, from now until the ends of time, my love for you will always shine. no matter what happ...

no matter what

no matter what happens,
i will always love you,
from now until the ends of time,
my love for you will always shine.

no matter what happens,
my heart will always be yours.
from deep within,
it shines out.

no matter what happens,
or how you feal,
baby,
i will always love you

just my writings. and youtube video links to videos i have created its how i feel: lonely nights

just my writings. and youtube video links to videos i have created its how i feel: lonely nights: a single tear slips down her cheak, as she watches yet another night slip by, a date she had planned, a moment she had set up, she thoug...

lonely nights

a single tear slips down her cheak,
as she watches yet another night slip by,
a date she had planned,
a moment she had set up,
she thought he would enjoy it,
but once again she got shoved away.
a single tear slips down her cheack,
as another lonely night slips away.

heart of an angel

here yesterday,
but gone today,
the heart of an angel,
taken away.

forever in our hearts,
her memory remains,
i love her dearly,
as many did.

god said he needed another angel,
and it was her turn in line,
so he came that night and took her hand,
and led her home with him.

i love you mom,
always and forever

fallen angel Chapter 1

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She tumbles from the sky, landing hard on her wings. Her halo falls off in the dust. A young woman in her early twenties. A pair of broken wings and a dusty halo. Will her prince ever find her? Or will she fall once more? She tries to spread her wings, but cries out in pain as the right wing sags to the ground she refolds the left. With tears in her eyes she lays in the dirt, thinking that her battle is over. Never to be loved again. For every time she tries to love she falls short.

As he comes up over the mountain out on his evening hike he notices a small lump in the dirt up ahead. Curios what it is he wanders closer. He sees a young woman who looks to be mangled in the tumbleweeds. As he walks closer he notices her wings, and with a start he thinks about turning back to keep going thinking that he has had one to many drinks with dinner. But he looks again and she is still there. He slowly aproaches her stumbling on a small silver ring. He bends down to pick it up and notices the sparkle under all the dust. Not sure what it is he picks it up and tucks it safely in his pack for later. He finaly manages to the girl and sees that she apears to have a broken wing, and tears in her sleeping eyes. With some struggle he hoists her gently into his arms and carries her to his home. Feeling somewhat out of place with seemingly an angel in his arms.

As morning comes the sun comes too, the smell of fresh coffee tickles her nose. She remembers from the night before, the young man that saved her. She thinks to herself as she tumbles out of the mess that she has been wrapped in. she cannot and will not allow her heart to fall into his hands. For he will surely be like the others. And tear it apart again leaving her once more broken.

He hustles around the kitchen scrabling to make eggs and bacon and what appears to be charcoal pancakles. Trying to finish so that angel can have something when she awakes, human or not she needs good meals to provide the vitamins she needs to heal properly and mayby over a cup of coffee she can tell him what has happened to her and why she is seemingly flightless. As he flips the last of the pancakes onto the platter he looks up and there she is. She had silently snuck into the doorway gazing at him though seemingly lost in thought. I wonder what could be going through her head right now. He thinks to himself.

She stumbles through the small doorway and is met by the handsom young mad. She peers into the room wondering what he is doing. She notices on the stove that there are small charcoal bricks on a griddle waiting to be taken off, she assumes they are ment to be pancakes or waffles or something. As she takes another step in the doorway the young man turns back to the stove taking that pancakes off the griddle and placing them on a platter stacked with at least a dozen more. She glances to the tabloe set for two in the middle of the room. She silently sighs to herself. This is how they all act at first. Bring the girl home, feed her a good meal then send her on her way. He turns away from the stove and looks up. For a moment their gazes meet and she feels a spark within. No she will not allow it. This can not happen again. She is already crippled with the bandages to prove it.

“come sit. Please share breakfast and coffee with me. We have much to talk about.”

“i simply cannot. You have already saved me.”

“i hardly call it saving miss. Less you allow me to manage you properly, so we can get that broken wing healed up as well as this back were it belongs” he holds up the halo. Still covered in dust. She looks on in awe.

“my halo! You found it!”

“i nearly fell on it. But I thought I would dust it off and replace it for you. When the time is right. But first come eat” he ushers her into a chair.

“alright. If you are sure that I am not going to be a bother to you, I simply can not stay for free though. You must allow me to help.

“we will worry about all that after breakfast. No matter what species you are you still need a good breakfast.”

she sighs as she settles into the chair he has pulled for her. Gentle not to bump her wing. She peers into the coffee cup noticing that it has already been fixed for her. And looks at the plate in front of her. Far more food than she could imagine eating. “there is no way I will be able to eat all this kind sir”

“juct call me Luke please miss.”

“very well, luke it is a pleasure to meet you I am angel.”

“oh no angel the pleasure is all mine. Please I want you to be comfortable here. Make yourself at home, and rest well. That wing needs to heal”

slowly she picks up her fork and takes a bite of the charcoal brick that was placed on her plate. She scrunches her face the best that she can without making it obvious that it is the most horrid taste ever. She looks up and notices his eyes as they lock and gaze into each other. No! I can not fall for this man. I do not even know him. But then he has been extra kind to allow me to stay here. NO! He will do like the rest. I can not allow my heart to be broken again.

“so angel, tell me what happened for you to wind up in the dirt?”

with a heavy sigh she says “its a rather long story. But short and simple I allowed my guard to fall and fell in love. The man did not love me like I loved him and he broke me. Threw me away without another care in the world.” as tears start streaming down her face, Luke gets up and quikly finds his way to her side.

“shhh its alright. That is enough for now. Just eat and we will get that bandage changed.” he steps back to gently wipe the tears from her eyes. “angels should never cry”

after they had both finishe dtheir food and drank their coffee, Luke cleared the table and angel set to do the dishes. Once the chores were done, Luke ushered her into the living room so they could dress her wing.

“i will dust off and work some polish into your halo to make it shine once more. But it will take some time. Possibly the same amount that wing will take to heal. I suspect you will stay till then?”

“oh luke, I couldnt. Not for free. I have no way to give thanks!”

“angel your presence is gift enough.”

silently Luke undresses her wing and plasters it with a smelly goo he said was to help the pain. He wraps it with fresh bandages and gently tucks it back into place. He offers up an over shirt for angel to cover herself with so that her wings are not showing out and so she can wash her tattered clothes. As noon aproaches it is time for Luke to head to work. He gently kisses angel on the cheek as he heads to the door.

“dont worry about making supper I will bring something with me this evening. You just relaxe and enjoy the afternoon.”

“alright alright. But I am going to wash some laundry while you are gone.”

As the door closes behind Luke, angel finds herself wishing he would come back. His gentle hands, and the way he kissed her cheek... she gazes at the door waiting for him to walk back through and tell her she needs to leave. She has had her one meal, and now she must go.

After an hour of waiting, watching she finally decides that Luke is indeed not coming back. So she heads to the laundry room and puts her tattered clothing in the machine. Thinking to herself how much easier it would be if only she had her magic.

Most all angels cary a small satchel of angel dust around their necks. However angel had forgot hers the night of the fall. So she was stuck with no magic. But she decided she would not share that information with Luke. Still battling mentaly with herself. What was that spark that she felt? Every time their gazes met she felt it. And when he kissed her cheek, she could feel her cheeks getting warm as she thought about the kiss. He seems so .. kind, so gentle. Dont kid yourself kid, he is a man they are all the same. You will wind up hurt. Just like the last one. Do you really want to fall again? How many breaks can those wings go through before they fall off? With a heavy sigh she tries to push the thoughts from her mind. Knowing that it can never happen. She must not allow herself the pain again. As she loads her clothing into the dryer she sets the dryer and walks out to the living room. With a huff she allows herself to settle onto the couch.

Luke opens the door and quietly steps inside. He sets the take out on the table then walks to the living room were he finds angel has fallen asleep. Thats good she needs her rest. The only way that wing will heal for sure. But she also needs to eat. Gently he reaches down to kiss her cheek as he rubs his hand along her forehead. Wispering in her ear,

“wake up angel you need to eat as well” slowly her eyes flutter open and she finds herself face to face with luke again. She feels the jolt of energy again. She knows that she will not be able to fight it long but she hopes that she can at least make it past the pain of the broken wing before it becomes obvious. Or until luke tells her she needs to leave. Wich she is sure will happen soon.

As they settle down for dinner luke hands angel a box of sweet and sour chicken and a fork. And settles with his own. They eat in silence as he looks on watching her eat. Toying with the emotions running through his head. I wonder if she felt that spark too. No its impossible. Your just imagining things. She may be an angel but she is still a woman, women are backstabbing bitches. All of them set out for one thing and most of the time it is revemge. Revenge on the wrong guy for the mistakes the last guy made. Women leave men wanting more but never come back to give them more. Thats just how it works. There is no way this woman is any different. But she is so soft and kind. Perhaps it best to let this idea die luke. But I think it could be love. no. there is no such thing. Love is a non existant emotion. You are another pawn in her game of chess thats it. With a heavy sigh he pushes his chair away from the table and stomps out of the room.

Solemly watching after him angel wonders if she had said or done something to upset him. With a sigh she lets her thoughts take over. I told you it would never work. You have had two meals now. But just watch before bed he will tell you that you have to leave, for you have wore your welcome. And he simply can not have you here. No that is not going to happen. He is different I can feel it in my heart. This is the best place for me to heal. And the best way. He is a gentleman and he loves me. Hunny you dont even know what love is. He is a man. Men are only after one thing. She pushes her chair back and goes to cleaning the kitchen before settling on the couch again. Wondering if he will dress her wing again.

He turns on the hot water and pours some cold in as well. Settling in after a long day. He wonders to himself, is she really like other women? She seems so pure hearted. She cant be like the rest. It is not possible. I can feel that she is different. It withers in my bones. No luke. She is still a woman. It dont matter how pure they try to be. It simply is impossible. I refuse to believe it. I know there was a spark there. I felt it. I feel it. Whenever I look into her eyes. It sparks, and when I kiss her cheek.. his lips start tingling longing for the feeling of her lips pressed to his. Snap out of it luke she has you under her spell. Thats it. She is already hurting and broken you can see that. Whats the harm in letting the girl heal. And whats the harm in allowing the connection to grow?

tears

tears well up,
and they trickle down her face,
she hears the sound,
of a lonly heart breaking.

who can help her?
who can stop the pain?
noone can.
cause it seems noone cares.

come, walk a day in my shoes

come walk a day in my shoes,
and i will show you what it takes to live like me,
i dont have money,
i dont have alot of things,
but there is one thing i do have,
thats the heart of a fighter.

you think life is hard?
sitting at the top,
you have money,
and a fancy car,
you have a career,
and a husband.

come walk a day in my shoes,
and learn what hard is.
day in and day out,
we scrounge to eat,
because we have no money.

come walk a day in my shoes,
were the sun isnt always aglow,
we see rain and thunder,
and tears are a given.

you think you have it rough?
because some jerk said your ugly?
you have no scars,
you are model thin.

come walk a day in my shoes,
i am covered in scars,
from living a life of hardships,
i have baby fat,
from the birth of my children.

you think you have it all?
there at the top?
a husband who works,
a nanny to watch your kids?

come walk a day in our shoes,
we dont have fancy cars,
or rich husbands,
we dont need nannys,
or housekeepers.

come walk a day in our shoes,
cause at the end of the day,
no matter how little we have,
the one thing we will always have,
is love.

forgivness

you said you didnt love me no more,
said that it was easy to fall,
you broke my heart,
and shatetered my soul.

you heard me cry,
you seen my tears,
you feel the pain i have inside.

the well runs deep,
the river high,
the blood i bleed for you alone,
come take my hand.

you asked me to forgive you,
the only question in my mind,
will this be the last goodbye?
or can we keep our love strong through the years.

will this be the last tears fallen,
or will you find another way.

i love you more,
than you will ever know,
forgivness is something that is not written.

hold me tight,
keep me safe,
give my heart a warm blanket of comfort,
for the tears i have cried,
i cried for you,
a little piece of my soul has died,
died for you,
of course ill forgive,
but forget is another word.

give our love one more try,
and let me prove you wrong.

broken hearted

you cried with me till i laughed,
laughed with me till i cried.
my heart bleed for you,
and my tears fell for you.

you threw me away,
said you dont love me anymore.
the pain i feel inside,
as i crumble down in pieces.

the sound of my heart shattering was the only thing hear,
as i curl upon the floor,
vanishing to nothing,
were i once belonged.

broken

a heart is broken,
a soul is lost,
left in pieces by the one she loved.
he has gone away,
said she was no good.
he had enough fun,
toying with her heart.
set her free,
on the wings of despair.
left in a spiral circling to the ground.
i wonder if the angel will survive another great fall.

what my love has done for me

he set me free, he lifted me up, he pulled my wings straight and said to me, you are not allowed to be broke, you are far to beutiful.

i love you

As I lay here,

I think of your voice,

and I slowly start to drift off,

the sound of the rain against the metal,

the thunder clapping outside,

none of it can be as relaxing as being here with you.

From the dawn of the day,

till the end of time,

the only place id like to be is in your arms.

I love you baby <3

Why do i love him?

Why do I love him,

in his arms I feel loved,

in his presence I feel wanted,

when I hear his voice,

I know he love me.

When I see his smile,

I cant help but smile back.

When we say goodnight,

I cry.

Why do I love him?

Because he makes me happy.

Dark Love

The dark moon arises,

and fills the void,

the hole were my heart should be,

always empties of all feeling,

is there a thing called love?

Is it real?

How can I be so sure,

when all you ever do is call me a lier,

or a cheat.

Everytime I think that I have found you,

and that you actually care about me,

you break me in two again.

I cant live my life in your shadows,

I wont live behind a stick

love me for me,

or leave me for dead.

Love is born

From the rising of the sun each morning,

to the setting of the moon each night,

the stars that shine above the clouds,

the fires that burn deep in hell,

the wings of an angel have been spread,

the horns of a devil have been grown.

The love that follows,

the lust that flows,

the hearts have combined,

to create one that is known as love.